arkadianriver |
| why am i here? |
01:22 am |
i do like to roller blade, to hike in the hills, and to visit the beach when I have the chance. But...
the sky never has a cloud in sight--always blue, all the time, same damn boring temperature. every seven miles is a quaint little street that looks the same as all the other quaint little victorian style, town center streets. Each has its row of overpriced shops with overpriced cars waiting for parking out front. Prim-perfect nipped, tucked, and lifted window shoppers proudly prance their pure bred canines down the street for all to see. it's apollo's world down here and he's got all the people trained to drone back and forth on his civilized suburban highways between the overpriced house they're locked into and the at least ten hour a day job they will someday get layed-off from. So many are drugged up on effexor, et al., to help them cope with the burning question, "why do i feel so blah in such a happy and sunny place?"
"black hole sun won't you come and wash away the rain" of the ever-smiley, rarely-inspired, bay area drones of norcal.
*sigh*
I miss jogging on a path soft with pine needles through dark green redwoods covered in velvety moss. I miss having the gray clouds above, a shelter that brings out the richness of the beautiful earth and its people, rather than be constantly blinded by the proudly radiant sky that dominates most of the rest of the world. I miss the soft pacific rain on the roof that soothes you to sleep, the acceptance of a tattered grungy look as a sign of character rather than a brand of laziness, the eclectic and quality music found in any hole in the wall club (with still room to sit), the smoothness with which each drag of a cigarette can be enjoyed due to the atmospheric low pressure of the Sound, the appropriateness of wearing black even in summer, and let's not forget funkyMonkey1049.fm! I miss so much.
but, yes, whether in apollo's world or pan's world, one thing is true either way: it sucks to live in that world alone.
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Comments:
| [Anonymous] |
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why am i here? | Mar. 29th, 2004 - 04:39 pm | | |
There are many forms of being alone, even when surrounded by people you love and who love you.
Nevertheless, what are you doing to make going home happen?
Personally, give me the sunshine!
I love you.
aj |
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| arkadianriver |
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Re: why am i here? | Mar. 29th, 2004 - 09:07 pm | | |
:-) i'm loved. i love you, too, sis.
well, it's hard to leave this job o' mine. very hard, since i love it so much. and i'm not really alone when it comes to friends. it's intimacy that seems to evade me. i could probably find what i'm looking for in san francisco or santa cruz in both atmosphere and type of woman. but that's why i moved to oakland in '99, and you know what happened with that whole scenario.
no. i'm content for now. ..just feel like bitching once in a while.
say "hi" to mom. hey, wouldn't it be cool if dad kept one of these during his journies? i'm thinking that without li'l rosie, it might help keep him connected. heck, it might help keep me connected ..to him.
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| [Anonymous] |
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Re: why am i here? | Mar. 30th, 2004 - 09:53 pm | | |
Whaddya mean say hi to mom? You say hi to mom. She misses you. You did remember what today...er...yesterday was, didn't you?
Daddy mentions his website every so often, so who knows, maybe he'll get inspired. He was talking about giving up his aol account, and I told him I'd host his site on my account if he wanted. I could set him up with greymatter if he wanted to blog. Or he could use one of the freebies out there. I don't think he'd be too keen on deadjournal, though. {g}
As for your '99 scenario. Since you now know the problem and have it contained...?
Just don't let the days slip by in a way that you might regret later, 'k? I wish we were closer. I don't like us being on opposite ends of the continent with mom in the middle.
aj |
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| arkadianriver |
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mom in the middle | Mar. 31st, 2004 - 11:18 am | | |
yep, so true. mom wanted me to come out there this time. but i'll be spending beaucoup $$ on another trip soon. and yes, i know what yesterday was. but of course i realized it at 10:30 last night. :-\
yes, dj's not for dad. he'd probably feel more at home on livejournal.com :-) but having a secure site on your host might be better.
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| [Anonymous] |
| Apr. 26th, 2004 - 11:38 am | | |
yo, bro! practically a month has gone by. what's the point of having a blog if you don't catch people up at least once a week???
{g}
love you. hope all's well. |
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